Austin Blows

Many people my age like to talk about how much they love Austin, Texas. I have the opposite feeling--this town blows.

I have lived in and traveled to many different places around the world. I have never seen such lousy and idiotic drivers as the ones here in Austin. There's a higher percentage of Austinites who drive with their car lights turned off at night than I've ever encountered anywhere else in the world. There's a higher percentage of Austinites who drift between lanes than I've ever encountered anywhere else in the world. A guy drove his car into my gf's car at an intersection (he had a Stop Sign, she didn't). Just today, someone rear-ended my parents' BRAND NEW Prius while my mom was stationary, waiting to make a left turn into a parking lot while going to work. You know, it wasn't as if my mom made a sudden stop or was in reverse against the flow of traffic; she was at a COMPLETE STOP.

This town's residents love to think of themselves as "green" environmentalists, yet it's quite clear that many of the "greenies" are self-deluding, hypocritical chodes. Of the two times that I've been to the Whole Foods headquarters here in Austin, I've been thoroughly disgusted by the obnoxious self-righteousness of Whole-Foods employees and its customers. They walk around as if they're better than everyone else, but all they're doing is "being green" because it's "cool". In short, they're affecting "being green" as some sort of materialistic fashion/social statement than actually "being green". The best way to "be green" with regards to groceries is to buy from regional sources to reduce the carbon damage from transporting goods, but Whole Foods sells a variety of water, beer, and other nonsense from HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD. Who bloody needs Fiji Water? WATER IS WATER. Who bloody needs European beer? ALCOHOL IS POISON. Let's not forget the SUVs that clog up the underground parking garage. It can take up to an HOUR--yes, 60 MINUTES--to leave the Whole Foods garage. In the meantime, every car just sitting there contributes to global warming without even at least going somewhere.

Oh, yeah...people will always tell you, "The music scene is great." So what? What are you going to do, listen to whiny local bands every night?

Austin blows, and I'm relieved to be leaving.